The Power of Listening: A Guide to Easing Anxiety

After spending three full days last week in a device-free, distraction-free environment dedicated to inspiring internal fulfillment, I was struck by how true listening has become a rare and precious skill. Even I, a professional listener, fell into the Level 1 listening trap at one point during a group session. This not only took me out of the moment, it triggered a bit of anxiety. I was able to get myself back to the present through active Level 2 listening using some of the below tips, which alleviated what I was feeling and allowed me to continue engaging at my fullest. This reminded me how the act of listening, when thoughtfully practiced at its different levels, possesses an opportunity to soothe anxiety and promote well-being.

Level 1: Internal Listening

Internal listening puts the primary focus on our own thoughts, opinions, judgments, fears, emotions, and bodily sensations. When we are in Level 1 listening, we are connecting to our own experiences and needs. This type of listening is very important in helping us understand ourselves. However, it can also be detrimental, depending on the situation. Because our brains are powerful engines, sometimes we fall into a negative thought loop so quickly, anxiety hits before we know it. If you find yourself there, you want to cut the loop by redirecting your focus and energy to external stimuli to take you out of Level 1 as it’s not serving you in that moment. This is often when tuning into Level 2 listening can be very helpful. 

Practical Tips: Take a few moments to pause and breathe mindfully. Notice any tension or discomfort in your body. Acknowledge these sensations with kindness and curiosity, allowing them to exist without resistance. You may want to remind yourself you are safe, strong, capable, or any words that help you feel ease. Come back to center with a grounding technique. This could include rubbing together the fingertips of your index finger and thumb, running your hands over a texture such as your sweater or a chair, curling and releasing each toe, or any other small movement you know helps bring you back to the present moment. Once in the present, redirect your attention to something that brings you joy, activates your appreciation, or sparks your curiosity.

Level 2: Focused Listening

Focused listening is the art of giving undivided attention to another person or stimulus. By fully immersing ourselves in the conversation or activity at hand, we create a sense of connection and engagement that can alleviate feelings of isolation and apprehension. When we place full value on the speaker and their contributions, two things happen: 1)  We leave Level 1 listening and any anxiety it may be provoking, and 2) We raise the bar on holding a human connection. 

Practical Tips: This is a skill to build, so don’t worry if it seems hard right now. Practice active listening techniques that go beyond just hearing the words that are being said. Really tune into what is being expressed in meaning, emotion, and intent. See if you can identify and understand more about that person as a human being based on what they are expressing. What do they care about? What upsets them? Where are they fixated or stuck? Lean into the moment of someone else having something valuable to contribute even if you don’t like them or agree. Recognize that speaking up may not be easy for them. Appreciate that they are likely also trying to overcome some internal feeling in the moment. Focused listening is even more powerful if you can limit distraction by ignoring digital devices and other interruptions. 

Level 3: Global Listening

Global listening is about listening to your environment. While that may sound woo woo, if you remember a time where you could feel the palpable energy in the room, that was an act of global listening. You felt the collective joy, sorrow, excitement, uncertainty, or whatever it was. When we practice global listening, we tune into the universal human experience of a wide range of emotions at any given time even without anyone vocalizing them. For example, when you’re on a flight that’s delayed, you can feel the general frustration even if everyone is just sitting quietly. By embracing our shared humanity, we cultivate a sense of perspective and acceptance that can help lessen anxiety and foster a greater sense of peace. It transcends any one individual. If you are feeling unsettled, it’s very likely that someone else is feeling something similar even if for a completely different reason. Recognizing that you are not alone in how you feel can help alleviate the pressure in the moment. 

Practical Tips: Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation, yoga, or spending time in nature. Take moments throughout your day to pause and tune into the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. Feel the energy in your environment. Sometimes the most important things are what’s unsaid. Try to remember that others are experiencing a wide range of emotions right now too, even if they seem stoic on the surface. Reflect on the interconnectedness of all living beings and the inherent value of each being and each moment. And if it’s appropriate to the setting, you can always verbalize what you’re noticing. For example, if you’re leading a meeting and the energy feels disengaged which is making you feel anxious or uncertain, it could be valuable to express that by saying something like “I’m sensing an off energy here…” Being validated in your observation doesn’t matter; the important part is the impact on the conversation and what unfolds after.

Bonus: Empathetic Listening

If you notice that someone else may be feeling anxious or upset, empathetic listening can help them. You can acknowledge the other person's experience and share in their feelings with compassion and openness. Try understanding and validating the emotions underpinning what they’re saying. In times of anxiety, empathetic listening can provide a sense of belonging and support, reassuring us that we are not alone in our struggles.

Practical Tips: Practice paying attention to someone’s tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. If the setting is appropriate to vocalize your reflective listening, you might use a phrase such as "This is a judgment-free zone. I’m noticing some emotion here, would you like to talk about it?" or "That must be difficult..." or “I’m here with you”. It’s important to respond in a way that feels natural to you while also meeting their current energetic state (e.g. if they are visibly sad, you speak in a calm, caring voice). Otherwise, your response could be something simple like a small smile or nod to reflect your engagement with them. It’s important to validate their emotions without trying to fix, minimize, or one-up them.

To sum it up, the different levels of listening can offer a powerful antidote to anxiety, providing pathways to self-awareness, connection, and inner peace. By incorporating these practices into our daily lives, we can navigate challenging moments with greater ease and grace, holding true listening as a key to our collective well-being.

The information provided within is for informational purposes only and is not intended to offer or substitute professional medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Always seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare provider for your personal circumstances.